is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The air was thick with penises
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
