I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
