I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
