Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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