remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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