New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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