omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
