I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize