So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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