If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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