using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
