Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
