i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
