The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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