So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
