a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
