after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
