look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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