my sisters under your porch take her home
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
