Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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