I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
