babies were throwing up all over the place
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
