ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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