How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You are the jesus of drinking
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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