Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
