That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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