I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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