Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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