oh god the rape fog is back!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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