dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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