Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
