He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Farmville is her only friend.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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