They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
