I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
