then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
