this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
