1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
