drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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