before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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