im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
