She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
