Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
