We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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