C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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