Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
