How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
