Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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