quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Welp...herpes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
