i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
nutella sex= disaster
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize