Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
