Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
