If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So vagazzling was a success
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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