I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize