I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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