I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
