"it" just moved
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
