Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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